All the Candies

 Making up for lost time

Sweets for my Sweet
60 x 90 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

I know, I know, I haven't updated in ages - I don't pretend to have an excuse for abandoning the blog, except being so busy painting, that I can't seem to lend time to anything else! 

Also, I don't feel like talking about the work, it just is what it is today. I had planned an elaborate still life with a shiny silver goblet and cherries after Sweets for my sweet, but found - to my great surprise - that it isn't cherry season yet.. and the pro's of painting sweets is having to buy a LOT of them.. and in my books that is a very large pro. So here they are, both on their way to galleries, but neither have left the studio yet. And the sugar rush seems to be wearing off. And so, enough chit chat, off to get paint on my shirt-sleeves again! 

Next time, hopefully, more thoughts.

Haphazard Candies
80 x 100 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

September 2013

 The end is near

Maryke se Orgidee
70 x 90 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

And what a crazy year it's been! But I'll get to that in a second. 

Maryke's Orchids, a commission of her own flowering orchids. I always approach flower paintings with trepidation, since I've been 'feedbacked' more than once that my flowers tend to be flat, or flat in relation to the other subjects I paint.. and this commission came after the marbles commission that I enjoyed way too much, so I was quite nervous. But my usual mantra of 'put more paint on until it's done' seemed to do the trick, the client is very happy, and facebook was sad for a day that the painting wasn't available. All good.

Halfway though the previous commission though, and through this one as well, I was approached with an incredible offer, so my mind was racing, and several days were spent chain smoking and looking at paintings, rather than layering on more paint. And this was the second time this year that I went through such a rollercoaster of excitement, and not-so-excitement.
I had been approached by a local media/decor/entertainment/whathaveyou magazine's tv counterpart, they had started an art segment on their weekly show, and would love to interview me. 
Let the chain smoking commence! 
At the risk of selling myself short, I do NOT have a tv personality, I nervous up, stutter, lose all manner of intelligent thinking and reasoning, and ultimately throw up or pass out. In that order. So this sort of opportunity terrifies me. But my husband spent the evening telling me how beautiful/talented/awesome/funny/wonderful I am, and I believed him enough to agree to the interview, and I was actually very excited about it all. 
They gave me the dates for the shoot, and then proceeded to ignore me until after the dates had passed. Then contacted me again with new dates (without apology) which were a month and a bit in the future; and a day later asked me if we were fine then to shoot the next day. My studio was not camera-ready. Nor was my regrowth or wardrobe, I had not had time to chat with the galleries about borrowing back some paintings to show, nothing was ready. 

I trust my gut. But when I have a bad gut feeling, I challenge it to make sure that I'm not just afraid, or nervous, and using any excuse not to move forward. But I like a certain amount of professionalism in these situations, and especially when it comes to my Art and my name, I do a lot of 'soul searching' (or what ever you might call it). This is the name under which I paint, it is my brand, and I have to avoid damage to my name at all costs. And at a certain point you have to stop and think about whether this kind of 'opportunity' will do more harm than good. And at the same time I kept wondering if this could be the push I'd been waiting for, my first step into 'the big leagues' if you will.. 
There are two blogs that helped me out quite a bit though, Seth Godin - here, and Artbiz - here, both of which had done posts about how it's ok to say no to work/opportunities in certain situations. And while I had actually been quite excited about this, and what it could mean for my art, it just didn't feel right, they hadn't won my trust, I knew of no-one who had seen the show, their youtube posts had no views, and above all, they didn't seem to take it very seriously, they just needed footage to fill the allotted time slots. So I'm fairly sure that bird has now flown. Although it might just contact me next monday to hear if I'm ok to shoot the next day, who knows. And perhaps it's just that the timing is wrong, and it works out next year, but right now I feel that the choice to not do it was right.

At the beginning if this year I was super excited, having done a pretty in depth interview about my work, and specifically acrylic painting for an overseas glossy magazine. Which was subsequently bought over by another company, and then shut down. Queue chain smoking.
BUT doing those interviews taught me so much about myself and my work, that I decided to start this blog, so that was good. I believe that in fine art it's all about growing and climbing slowly. And I've said time and again that I believe if you put everything in, the rest will follow. It's scary to have the power to make these massive decisions, that might make or break you as an artist, and might come back to haunt you, especially when I have zero interest in marketing or admin (I know I know, it's super important) and all I want to do is paint without distraction. But such its life. And if I fall down, I'll just get back up again.

I'll probably do a more in depth post in December, looking back on this year, but this is where my head was at when I was working on this painting, so I thought I'd share.
I'm proud of the work I produced this year, I have achieved a lot, and I worked really hard - which shows, I'm tired to the bone. 
But being this tired along with being proud of yourself is overall a great feeling. 

In progress

SPI National Portrait Award

 With love, tenderly

100 x 150 cm

Acrylic on Canvas

I ended up not being one of the finalists, but I get to finally share the work with you! This is my portrait of my mother.

I have mixed emotions of the competition in the aftermath, to be honest. (but of course I do, I wanted to win!)
I know this painting is technically sound, probably the best work I've done (if that's the criteria) and for certain the best portrait I've ever done. But I am also aware that the composition is quite unoriginal, and I guess to the judges it would just be another 'expected' piece. Which is where it becomes tricky. Because what is the criteria, really? 

This is definitely my mother, so much so, that while it was waiting to be entered into the competition, standing in the corner of my studio, if I was having a bad day (which I was for about 4 months straight) it would lift me up, I would feel reassured just meeting her gaze - can you see how proud she is of me? That look, that is exactly how she looks at me, to me it captures our relationship. The tears in her eyes, the suppressed smile, which can turn into throw-your-head-back in laughter in seconds. It HAD TO be traditional, because it's my mother, but there's so much more to read into than just traditional, boring, been there.. The lipstick and pearls, she only wears them for special occasions, I can still smell that lipstick from her kissing us goodbye when my dad took her out on an evening, if she applied lipstick, you knew it was fancy. If she was pushing open her ear piercings to wear her pearls, it was very fancy. I accentuated the lines on her face, I couldn't hide it, there are too many stories there, all the grief my brother and I (and my dad) gave her through the years is written there, the lying awake, hoping the kids get home safe, the teenage fights, the rebellion of your children, my dad's illness, all the stress and worry she carries around from that. And of course the laugh lines, no one can laugh as heartily as my mom, her laugh carries across rooms, always heartfelt, she spreads joy where she goes.

There is so much to say about the relationship between a mom and daughter. To try and capture all the feelings, 29 years of closeness, fights, gossip, comfort and and and.. this is why it was hard for me to enter into the competition, I have so much affection for this painting BECAUSE it's my mom, and I knew there would be a bunch of tired judges (who might or might not have already seen 1000 portraits ranging from terrible to incredible) who knew nothing about us, and who wouldn't really bother seeing more than just a portrait of a middle-class woman, because there was still more paintings to see, because there's no angst, no nudity, no racial or political issues. I didn't want to subject this painting to THAT. But the thought that I could lead my mom into a room where this painting hung as a finalist pushed me to do it, that and the thought of what she could do with her share of the prize money!

I'm proud of this painting, it is everything it needed to be, without pretentions, I captured a personality as I see it (isn't that the essence of portraiture?) and my mom loves it (she claims it's my best work) as does my close family. So the work is a success. I won't let this competition lead me to feel any different about it.

HOWEVER I did expect to see more awesome work in the finalists. When I found out it wasn't a finalist I wasn't too surprised, as I understand they're looking for revolutionary, but many of the finalists aren't. In fact one of the paintings is very much like mine, only unhappy. I don't want to criticise other work (I tend to be a bad loser) but I saw some of the works that also didn't make the cut, and they were great, and so between that and my work, I expected something incredible. But all of those works that I saw that didn't make the cut would easily have fit in between the other selected works, there are better and worse paintings that most of them. And if I was pushed to select a winner from the finalists, there are at least 3 I liked better than the winner.. but that's my taste, and of course I'm overly critical, I'd probably be singing a different song, had I been chosen!

A young man -Heather Gourlay-Conyngham

This is the winning work - I think they were lead by the '13 BP awards winner, (who happened to be one of the judges) as this reminds me quite a bit of her winning portrait of a young man on a chair.
You can see the rest of the 40 finalists on the Art Times facebook page.


So that's that, mom's coming back to the studio to keep me company, and I'm looking forward to having her back.

Adrian and Lindy's Commission

 MORE MARBLES! 

Adrian and Lindy's Marbles
100 x 60 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Adrian and my brother used to be in a band together, and that's how I got to know him. Since he saw my first large marbles painting, he's been threatening to commission me, but only after they renovated their house. Now, many of my friends tell me they still want works of mine, I don't really take it to mean anything, I know they have good intentions but fine art is expensive - I can't afford to buy paintings, so I don't really expect it of them - I just take it as a nice complement, and move on. 

But at my brothers birthday braai in June Adrian mentioned that they had gotten decorators in for quotes, and my ears perked up! And we started talking marbles.

There are many things to love about doing commission work for a friend. The goal of every single painting I make, is for them to end up in someones home, to bring joy to people, and brighten up a room, or a day. And with a commission that's a given, with the added bonus that  there's a part of you (as opposed to a stranger) on their wall, part of the decor of their lives.

Also along with that, every painting becomes an ad for my work,  tiny billboard in their lounge, to be seen by friends and family who don't yet know me, and to entice them to buy my work. AND my favourite part, I get to see my work being enjoyed every time I'm invited to one of their legendary braais, nothing is quite as satisfying / fulfilling as seeing that end result. 

Adrian and Lindy gave me the colour scheme they were working with, shade of paint on which the painting would hang, and the spot colours they'd like to use in the room. This was the first time I got to work from that perspective; I had to desaturate most of the colours, and change some of them entirely, which was really fun, and I suspect that will happen quite a bit in the future! We had a 'viewing' halfway through to check out the colours in the specific lighting and surroundings, and I changed some tones - I can couch for doing this, it was super helpful!

 .

Long story short: I love this painting, it's one of my favourite marbles works because I managed to keep it loose and a little rougher than usual, there's a lot more visible brush strokes, and I've been aiming to go in that direction with my paintings.

I THINK I'm reflected 6 times, and reflections included there are something like 92 marbles in this painting.. but I lost count a couple of times, so that could be wrong! ;) 

Update time 

Just a little 'what's where'

SO! I finally entered my portrait in the SPI Portrait competition this week.. the judging is anonymous, so instead of posting a pic of the painting, have a look at my 'gesinnetjie', parents and big brother, and we'll say no more about that until we're allowed to!

My painting 'Space, contained' is part of Everard Read's 'Possessed' group show, until 21 August, 2013.

" Possessed explores still life as both 

self-portraits and mirrors; we delight in them 

through recognising ourselves."

And these two new(ish)bees are in the window display of  Absolut Art Gallery as we speak, even though Absolut Art are going through some changes - reducing the size of the Willowbridge gallery and opening another branch in Pretoria - the paintings are still in the window, while the rest of the Gallery is in a state of chaos!

AND I'm working on another marbles painting, much like the Self-portrait with Marbles, of which I can't show you an update, as it's for the commissioner's eyes only at this stage!

Now, back to decorating an early birthday cake for my hubby, before FINALLY getting some painting done - have a great long weekend, and happy painting!

Reflecting

  Embracing the truth about a painting

Reflecting - incomplete
91 x 61 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

This painting was going to be a show-piece. Everard-Read invited me to be part of a group show about still life, aimed to show people that there's more to still life than they assume, that it isn't simply pretty pictures, or meaningless objects in nice groupings. 

I thought it best to do something that I know, and that is recognizably mine, but to push the boundaries a teensy tiny bit, by adding reflections instead of shadows, and not only reflecting the marbles but also the clouds - as it was reflected in my original photo.

But on the day I was supposed to start, I also woke up sick, and was pretty much in bed (on couch) for a week - which is agonizing when there's a blank canvas just waiting in the next room. And when I was eventually well enough to work, I struggled with my concentration - I would be amped to work, sit down in front of my easel, and find myself getting up again to change a song, to make tea, to go find the cat to pet.. anything would be more interesting than working. All in all I worked for 4 - 5 weeks on this..(way too long!) and ended up not sending it in for the exhibition, because I was just not satisfied with it.

I think some of the magic of the painting got lost along the way, it seems cold to me now. As if the brush strokes are just a little too calculated, the colours desaturated. Also, I have to mention I used a different make of canvas, and that played a large role, it hardly has any texture, almost to the point of being slippery, and absorbed the paint differently than what I am used to - which is no excuse, but this no doubt just added to the awkwardness.

As you can see I removed one of the marbles, it lined up too well with the marbles next to it, and created a line with them, when removed the composition opened up, and worked much better. And I ended up flattening the background, the reflections of the sky was so distracting, I couldn't focus on the marbles. I intended to put those reflections back again afterwards, but I quite like the flatness. Now I just have to get some of the spontaneity back in the marbles, and some colours that really pop. Overall I think this painting has the potential to be a very calming and relaxing piece, but the balance between soothing and vibrant has to be just right.

And now, after having taken a break from marbles, I sit back and try to look at it anew, to put away that feeling of 'preciousness' and be willing to possibly mess it up, in order to achieve greatness.. or at least to a place where I can be proud of it.

Forbidden Fruit

  There's something to be said for progress

Spring approaches, or Forbidden fruit - 2013
100 x 70 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Vanitas II - 2009
60 x 45 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Today is just about posting these two paintings together, the top one is being finished as we speak (blogging while paint dries) and Vanitas was done in 2009, from the same shoot, but a slightly different angle. 

All in all a good example of how my style has changed, and how I've grown - taking in mind the massive difference in scale! But then it has to be said, at that stage 60 x 45 was my idea of large.
The thing that (oddly perhaps) strikes me most is the loss of the outline - which I thought integrated the objects into the background, but really it just distracts (to me) and takes away from the sharpness, and realism. The thing that must've changed most is the finish, thesedays I spend quite some time cleaning up lines and details, things you only pick up when you examine the painting close-up, but that's the point, I want people the enjoy the work in different ways, and that includes from different distances.

That's all for now, hope you enjoy the new work, comments and observations are always welcome!

This is where I put paintings when I need to get some distance, to get a more objective look, naturally our Cat Stevens would choose those times to inspect the new element on HIS seat, thought you'd enjoy that!