SPI National Portrait Award

 With love, tenderly

100 x 150 cm

Acrylic on Canvas

I ended up not being one of the finalists, but I get to finally share the work with you! This is my portrait of my mother.

I have mixed emotions of the competition in the aftermath, to be honest. (but of course I do, I wanted to win!)
I know this painting is technically sound, probably the best work I've done (if that's the criteria) and for certain the best portrait I've ever done. But I am also aware that the composition is quite unoriginal, and I guess to the judges it would just be another 'expected' piece. Which is where it becomes tricky. Because what is the criteria, really? 

This is definitely my mother, so much so, that while it was waiting to be entered into the competition, standing in the corner of my studio, if I was having a bad day (which I was for about 4 months straight) it would lift me up, I would feel reassured just meeting her gaze - can you see how proud she is of me? That look, that is exactly how she looks at me, to me it captures our relationship. The tears in her eyes, the suppressed smile, which can turn into throw-your-head-back in laughter in seconds. It HAD TO be traditional, because it's my mother, but there's so much more to read into than just traditional, boring, been there.. The lipstick and pearls, she only wears them for special occasions, I can still smell that lipstick from her kissing us goodbye when my dad took her out on an evening, if she applied lipstick, you knew it was fancy. If she was pushing open her ear piercings to wear her pearls, it was very fancy. I accentuated the lines on her face, I couldn't hide it, there are too many stories there, all the grief my brother and I (and my dad) gave her through the years is written there, the lying awake, hoping the kids get home safe, the teenage fights, the rebellion of your children, my dad's illness, all the stress and worry she carries around from that. And of course the laugh lines, no one can laugh as heartily as my mom, her laugh carries across rooms, always heartfelt, she spreads joy where she goes.

There is so much to say about the relationship between a mom and daughter. To try and capture all the feelings, 29 years of closeness, fights, gossip, comfort and and and.. this is why it was hard for me to enter into the competition, I have so much affection for this painting BECAUSE it's my mom, and I knew there would be a bunch of tired judges (who might or might not have already seen 1000 portraits ranging from terrible to incredible) who knew nothing about us, and who wouldn't really bother seeing more than just a portrait of a middle-class woman, because there was still more paintings to see, because there's no angst, no nudity, no racial or political issues. I didn't want to subject this painting to THAT. But the thought that I could lead my mom into a room where this painting hung as a finalist pushed me to do it, that and the thought of what she could do with her share of the prize money!

I'm proud of this painting, it is everything it needed to be, without pretentions, I captured a personality as I see it (isn't that the essence of portraiture?) and my mom loves it (she claims it's my best work) as does my close family. So the work is a success. I won't let this competition lead me to feel any different about it.

HOWEVER I did expect to see more awesome work in the finalists. When I found out it wasn't a finalist I wasn't too surprised, as I understand they're looking for revolutionary, but many of the finalists aren't. In fact one of the paintings is very much like mine, only unhappy. I don't want to criticise other work (I tend to be a bad loser) but I saw some of the works that also didn't make the cut, and they were great, and so between that and my work, I expected something incredible. But all of those works that I saw that didn't make the cut would easily have fit in between the other selected works, there are better and worse paintings that most of them. And if I was pushed to select a winner from the finalists, there are at least 3 I liked better than the winner.. but that's my taste, and of course I'm overly critical, I'd probably be singing a different song, had I been chosen!

A young man -Heather Gourlay-Conyngham

This is the winning work - I think they were lead by the '13 BP awards winner, (who happened to be one of the judges) as this reminds me quite a bit of her winning portrait of a young man on a chair.
You can see the rest of the 40 finalists on the Art Times facebook page.


So that's that, mom's coming back to the studio to keep me company, and I'm looking forward to having her back.

Adrian and Lindy's Commission

 MORE MARBLES! 

Adrian and Lindy's Marbles
100 x 60 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Adrian and my brother used to be in a band together, and that's how I got to know him. Since he saw my first large marbles painting, he's been threatening to commission me, but only after they renovated their house. Now, many of my friends tell me they still want works of mine, I don't really take it to mean anything, I know they have good intentions but fine art is expensive - I can't afford to buy paintings, so I don't really expect it of them - I just take it as a nice complement, and move on. 

But at my brothers birthday braai in June Adrian mentioned that they had gotten decorators in for quotes, and my ears perked up! And we started talking marbles.

There are many things to love about doing commission work for a friend. The goal of every single painting I make, is for them to end up in someones home, to bring joy to people, and brighten up a room, or a day. And with a commission that's a given, with the added bonus that  there's a part of you (as opposed to a stranger) on their wall, part of the decor of their lives.

Also along with that, every painting becomes an ad for my work,  tiny billboard in their lounge, to be seen by friends and family who don't yet know me, and to entice them to buy my work. AND my favourite part, I get to see my work being enjoyed every time I'm invited to one of their legendary braais, nothing is quite as satisfying / fulfilling as seeing that end result. 

Adrian and Lindy gave me the colour scheme they were working with, shade of paint on which the painting would hang, and the spot colours they'd like to use in the room. This was the first time I got to work from that perspective; I had to desaturate most of the colours, and change some of them entirely, which was really fun, and I suspect that will happen quite a bit in the future! We had a 'viewing' halfway through to check out the colours in the specific lighting and surroundings, and I changed some tones - I can couch for doing this, it was super helpful!

 .

Long story short: I love this painting, it's one of my favourite marbles works because I managed to keep it loose and a little rougher than usual, there's a lot more visible brush strokes, and I've been aiming to go in that direction with my paintings.

I THINK I'm reflected 6 times, and reflections included there are something like 92 marbles in this painting.. but I lost count a couple of times, so that could be wrong! ;) 

Update time 

Just a little 'what's where'

SO! I finally entered my portrait in the SPI Portrait competition this week.. the judging is anonymous, so instead of posting a pic of the painting, have a look at my 'gesinnetjie', parents and big brother, and we'll say no more about that until we're allowed to!

My painting 'Space, contained' is part of Everard Read's 'Possessed' group show, until 21 August, 2013.

" Possessed explores still life as both 

self-portraits and mirrors; we delight in them 

through recognising ourselves."

And these two new(ish)bees are in the window display of  Absolut Art Gallery as we speak, even though Absolut Art are going through some changes - reducing the size of the Willowbridge gallery and opening another branch in Pretoria - the paintings are still in the window, while the rest of the Gallery is in a state of chaos!

AND I'm working on another marbles painting, much like the Self-portrait with Marbles, of which I can't show you an update, as it's for the commissioner's eyes only at this stage!

Now, back to decorating an early birthday cake for my hubby, before FINALLY getting some painting done - have a great long weekend, and happy painting!

Reflecting

  Embracing the truth about a painting

Reflecting - incomplete
91 x 61 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

This painting was going to be a show-piece. Everard-Read invited me to be part of a group show about still life, aimed to show people that there's more to still life than they assume, that it isn't simply pretty pictures, or meaningless objects in nice groupings. 

I thought it best to do something that I know, and that is recognizably mine, but to push the boundaries a teensy tiny bit, by adding reflections instead of shadows, and not only reflecting the marbles but also the clouds - as it was reflected in my original photo.

But on the day I was supposed to start, I also woke up sick, and was pretty much in bed (on couch) for a week - which is agonizing when there's a blank canvas just waiting in the next room. And when I was eventually well enough to work, I struggled with my concentration - I would be amped to work, sit down in front of my easel, and find myself getting up again to change a song, to make tea, to go find the cat to pet.. anything would be more interesting than working. All in all I worked for 4 - 5 weeks on this..(way too long!) and ended up not sending it in for the exhibition, because I was just not satisfied with it.

I think some of the magic of the painting got lost along the way, it seems cold to me now. As if the brush strokes are just a little too calculated, the colours desaturated. Also, I have to mention I used a different make of canvas, and that played a large role, it hardly has any texture, almost to the point of being slippery, and absorbed the paint differently than what I am used to - which is no excuse, but this no doubt just added to the awkwardness.

As you can see I removed one of the marbles, it lined up too well with the marbles next to it, and created a line with them, when removed the composition opened up, and worked much better. And I ended up flattening the background, the reflections of the sky was so distracting, I couldn't focus on the marbles. I intended to put those reflections back again afterwards, but I quite like the flatness. Now I just have to get some of the spontaneity back in the marbles, and some colours that really pop. Overall I think this painting has the potential to be a very calming and relaxing piece, but the balance between soothing and vibrant has to be just right.

And now, after having taken a break from marbles, I sit back and try to look at it anew, to put away that feeling of 'preciousness' and be willing to possibly mess it up, in order to achieve greatness.. or at least to a place where I can be proud of it.

Forbidden Fruit

  There's something to be said for progress

Spring approaches, or Forbidden fruit - 2013
100 x 70 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Vanitas II - 2009
60 x 45 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

Today is just about posting these two paintings together, the top one is being finished as we speak (blogging while paint dries) and Vanitas was done in 2009, from the same shoot, but a slightly different angle. 

All in all a good example of how my style has changed, and how I've grown - taking in mind the massive difference in scale! But then it has to be said, at that stage 60 x 45 was my idea of large.
The thing that (oddly perhaps) strikes me most is the loss of the outline - which I thought integrated the objects into the background, but really it just distracts (to me) and takes away from the sharpness, and realism. The thing that must've changed most is the finish, thesedays I spend quite some time cleaning up lines and details, things you only pick up when you examine the painting close-up, but that's the point, I want people the enjoy the work in different ways, and that includes from different distances.

That's all for now, hope you enjoy the new work, comments and observations are always welcome!

This is where I put paintings when I need to get some distance, to get a more objective look, naturally our Cat Stevens would choose those times to inspect the new element on HIS seat, thought you'd enjoy that!

Consigned to Oblivion

  In which I almost get melodramatic, but manage to stop.

Left Behind I and II
15 x 20 cm each
Acrylic on Canvas

Tonight is the opening night of the Miniature group show in which I have two tiny little paintings. I only found out when I saw the invitation that the group show is actually accompanying a solo exhibition by Theo Paul Vorster, which is great, as I'm a huge fan of his work, and I've never seen so many of his works in one space.

I'm still not sure how I feel about these two paintings, I think I'll know as soon as I see them on the wall - when it's too late to do anything - I was in a strange head-space when I made them, they were supposed to be tightly cropped bright pomegranate pips, but after restarting 3 times, and still just getting nowhere, I decided to do these buttons. Now we've spoken about them before, so I'm not about to leap into deep analysis, but I'll give you a quick run-through.
I was feeling a little low (translate to pretty depressed) so bare with me: These buttons are left overs from forgotten garments, some from my dad's navy uniform, some from clothes my mom was gifted by her older siblings, and which she then remade into outfits for us kids etc. They wait around willingly to save someone from a malfunction, but will probably wait forever. And so they are now immortalised in their desperation. But what I had in mind while painting them is this sense of being left behind, my mom comes from a large family and recently two of her older sisters passed away after illness, and it was really hard to deal with. And I kept thinking about those left behind; husbands, children, sisters and brothers, who have to keep everything going, and what it must feel like to lose a companion after 40 - 50 years.

So while I realise this is just a still life of buttons, quite plain, I was working through some things while working on them. And now they stand as a reminder of a couple of gray months, and sadness. Which is what leaves me confused about how I feel about them, as I've gotten quite used to being all about large, bright and playful, I almost feel like I'll be exposed tonight, people will get to see this very personal thing, and not understand why it's supposed to be significant.

I waited until the day I had to deliver the paintings to the gallery to name them, 'Left Behind' perfectly encapsulated what I meant, but I didn't want people to think of the books/movies/games, or anything 'rapture', it works, but it's not the intended meaning. And so google thesaurus delivered a bunch of excellent options, including 'consigned to oblivion' which I just adore, so dramatic, with the pun on 'consigned' of course.. but after chats with my brother and dad, I decided to tone down, and go with my initial gut feeling to name them Left Behind.
And secretly refer to paintings that have not yet sold in galleries as

CONSIGNED TO OBLIVION!

And that's that.
Will post a update about the opening soon, and about other news and awesome things, until then, happy painting!

Finally, a good week  

In which one painting gets rejected. but five are chosen.

Space, contained
50 x 50 cm
Acrylic on Canvas

I completed this painting a while ago, for a competition where the works had to be 50 cm round, to fit on the tops of wine barrels at the exhibition. Out of 80 entries, 20 were chosen, and this poor guy was not chosen..

The theme for the competition was Space and spaces, and in keeping with my recent marbles theme, I thought it would be perfect to do a detailed work of the inside of a marble. As kids we always believed the insides of marbles looked exactly like space, or we'd go so far as to believe that they had somehow managed to capture a little piece of the heavens inside marbles (after all, who really knows how marbles are made?) But alas, the curators cared not. Which leaves this guy locked up in a store room for a month before I can collect it, which is a sad fate for something made to be seen.

On the upside, all five of the paintings - mentioned in my previous post - at Absolut Art Gallery sold in one week, to two different buyers. Which actually leaves me in an awkward position, as I only had one new piece to replace the five with! 

But what a fantastic sense of relief. It's a wonderful start for my relationship with the gallery, if I had 20 available pieces to give them, they'd take them all at this point! And it's one of the greatest feelings to sell my favourite paintings, as opposed to commissions, the buyers and I are seeing eye to eye, even though we'll most probably never meet. 

And that's great since I'm continuing the marbles series. Right now I'm working on a large piece for an upcoming group exhibition at Everard Read - it's invites only, but even the chosen artists' work have to be approved before-hand, so I am upping my game. I don't know if they expect that, but I think it's good to challenge yourself. And so in this painting there are colour reflections of the marbles in their shadows, and the trees and sky's reflection actually pattern the background, instead of the flat grays I tend towards. Of course, I have no idea how different it will turn out, I have to figure it out as I go, and anything could happen. 

I'd like to keep pushing my use of reflective surfaces like the brushed steel, copper and glass, and perhaps some patterned materials as well. I realised recently that the paintings I like, the work that I'd buy, is radically different from the works that I produce, and I want to bridge that gap, and experiment a little. Anything that pushes you is good, I figure!

And so, drinks are on me! And have a gloriously productive and joyful week!